Leads to Anger
by Linda Farkas
"Fear leads to
Anger. Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to suffering." So true...
So true! Think about it the next time you are fearful of a situation.
You will see it quickly turns to anger! If the intensity is great it will quickly
turn to hate, (" I hate so & so!"). Other times it will slowly turn to hate.
Next comes the suffering! I am sure everyone has suffered one time or another after
having an argument with a loved one. Master Yoda (or George Lucas) was very wise
and insightful when he said this!
can't think of a better way to describe what these children are feeling!
I think everyone would agree with me when I say these children are full
of anger, hate, and suffering! Everyone knows these children live
in anger. Yes, that means they really live in a constant state of
suffering! Which also means that the root of their anger, hatred,
and suffering is really fear! Fear from the first time they were
left alone, fear from the first time they were hit, etc.
By now their fear is everywhere and past fears
are buried very deep, it will be hard to see and difficult to find as
the anger protects it and keeps it safe. It is too scary to even
look at that fear! Follow Yoda's words backwards to find the fear.
Next time your child is angry, say to him/her, "I can see you are really
suffering, it must be very painful." Or "You are really suffering,
aren't you?" Again follow the words backwards. In time you will find the
The key to success is
seeing the fear and making an environment in which his fears can be alleviated.
At that point the child will begin to calm and start recognizing his own
fears. Be careful though, you can't do it for him, you can only
support him and make it safe for him to realize his fear. They
don't feel safe enough to see their fear. Use your efforts to make
him/her feel safe enough to see his/her own fears.
Stop yourself and think, what is this child
afraid of right now (fear of being wrong, fear of acceptance, fear of
looking dumb, fear of being called a bad name, fear of being hurt, fear
of not having his/her way etc.).
Test this out on yourself first, I believe you will find that it
is true. Think of something you are angry about, something you hate, or something
you are suffering over and follow it back until you figure out what you are fearful about
(fear that people won't understand, fear of acceptance, fear of not being normal, fear of
failure, afraid it won't work, afraid of what will happen next, etc. etc!)
Cash" story on this website? Scared was more dangerous than mean! In
otherwords fear is the most dangerous of all.
Think about times when something is
fearful to you, your instinct tells you to stay away from whatever it is. No one can
convince you that it is ok and safe cuz inside you know it is horrid and you
will get hurt. So you avoid it at all costs.
Now think, what could someone do when you are
feeling that way to calm you down and help you see that what you are afraid
of most is the fear and that the situation probably isn't as bad as you
perceive it at the moment? Whatever it is, it is going to take time
and patience before you can calm down enough and build up strength to get
near the situation.
At the beginning of that statement, Yoda said "Fear is the
path to the dark side." So true... So true!!!
Master Yoda said this when he refused to train Anakin, stating the
boy had too much fear in him. The entire quote goes as follows:
"Fear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering."
As we watch episode I and II, we see that Anakin has
a tremendous amount of suffering and turmoil. Which eventually is the path and
foundation for Darth Vader. In later episodes, it becomes obvious that Darth Vader
is cold, uncaring, and evil. He ends up using the evil to cover all the pain and suffering
he endured in the past. In the last Episode, Luke finally breaks through the wall,
but only right before Vader's death.
You have the power to make a new path for your
child. Look, find the fear and alleviate it and start building a new foundation and
path for your child. Otherwise the fear will
lead to the dark side.