Denise

I am the adoptive parent of two Radishes. My son was adopted at age 41/2 from an orphanage in Romania and my daughter 3 years later at age 41/2 from CYS. I always knew something was wrong with my son, he was very controlling, passive-aggressive, poor eye contact and totally unaware of how his body and mind work together. Our daughter bought with her thunderous tantrums, self-destructive tendencies, poor eye contact, severe hyperactivity, language that can only be described as "profoundly retarded" and physically assaultive to mom while dad got all the "affection". This had a terrible impact on our marriage of almost 10 years, after struggling with infertility and treatments for 4 years, we thought this would be the answer to our dreams...it turned out to be a nightmare! I finally decided to ignore the advice of family, school and our pediatrician and investigate attachment disorders. By this time I was in a deep depression, was having anxiety attacks which lead to hospitalization and a cardiac catheterization! I thought I was going to drop dead at the ripe old age of 38! Luckily, I had bought Dr. Greg Keck's book "Adopting the Hurt Child" and other materials. We scheduled an evaluation for the children and our suspicions were confirmed! We then participated in a two week intensive therapy with both children. For the first time in 5 years, I felt enpowered and hopeful! Ironically, the children seemed to be more secure and contented with us being in charge and we got much more respect. The only folks who can appreciate what it is like to raise these children are other parents of Rad kids. These children flounder under "traditional" parenting and the behavior becomes worse as the years go by without proper treatment. We're optimistic that we now have a fighting chance to be a family and to find some peace and happiness.