Michelle

Hi, My husband and I are in the process of adopting our 7yr. old foster daughter. When we became foster parents, we were told that our job was to love, parent, and provide for the children in our home. We were also told that our hearts would indeed be broken, when taking in these children. However, no one ever told us anything about RAD or any of the other possible problems that could be treated. Counseling was not something ever discussed as a good thing and that older foster/adoptive children should automatically be involved in. We were given the impression that we just needed to love the children and most everything would eventuall turn out okay.
Our daughter came to us when she was 4 1/2 years old. She could not talk intelligible words and did not speak in sentences. She had been found severly neglected. She was still wearing diapers when she came into the children's emergency shelter. She was tested at an 18 month old level. She has made HUGE progress! However, along with the progress we are discovering other things as well. For one, Her behavior, especially towards me, is right with several of the RAD symptoms. We have tried behavior counseling, but found that stickers for good behavior just do not work.

We are really just now finding out more about RAD and would like to have our daughter tested and get help before too much more time goes by. We love her very much, but I get really worried about what she will be like in a few years. I always I was a patient person, but I am not patient anymore. I find I am losing my patience too much, and becoming way too stressed. We are also in the process of adopting our foster son, who is 3 1/2, whom we have had for 2 years.
We would greatly appreciate any help and advice that anyone would have.

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