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mms
Hi
Well here goes I have never taken the time to share our RAD story so here goes.
My husband and I had 2 bio boys who were such a joy to have and be with that we thought we
would seek out adopting a child less luck than ours,to be born to a secure loving mom and
dad.We just wanted to share our good parenting{ha ha} and love this child so they could be
blessed like children should be blessed.We went to the department of child welfare and
seeked out a foster child who would become availible for adoption.{mind you we never had
even heard of RAD} Well we got several calls for placement of a child but if it sounded
like we would put our boys at risk we refused placement. So 4 yrs of waiting for a child
we begain to think adopting a child was not going to happen for us,and then the phone call
came that they had a little girl for us.Our daughter at that time was 15 months old and in
her fourth foster home and of course they said she was perfect,no special needs{imagine
that,we thought what a gift from God} So we happily brought her into our life.My boys were
so excited and have been awesome to her always.It took til our dd was 2 and a half to
complete the adoption and we had to endure more visits with the bm than i want to
remember, they were real set backs for our dd{but of course no one seems to understand
that}
As our dd was growing her emoitional behaviors were very concerning to me,and like most
all of us parents I knocked on many doors and went through many test to come up with no
answers just possibilities,and basically told to hang in their she would out grow theses
rages and whatever else she was doing. So I read everything I could,her behaviors were
consuming and of course controlling this family. The only thing that seemed to help her
emoitions was the Cranial Sacral therapy that we had been taking her in for since she was
4. And lets not forget about the confort we would get from prayer. But in reality no one
understood what our life had become,and no therapist seemed to affect change.{we know why
now}The last straw was broken when my dd told the school physcologist{a idiot I might add}
a long drawn out story{lie} that got DCF involved in our lives.Well DCF got out of our
lives just as quick as they came into it,They had created the problem that we all deal
with. No one could have tried harder to get this dd help then we did and now she could
cause so much damage to us in a single lie. My eyes were now wide open.Scared for her and
us is all I felt I could not even be angry, I loved this child too much and felt like here
we go again the system is letting her down again.Well like they say when things are reall
bad for you the Lord is there and yes he was.All the sudden the dr's that i had seeked out
now had time for my dd.{I guess she had done something alarming enough,finally}Well a
friend of a friend heard about our troubles and got in touch with me ,she too had a rad
daughter and had a RAD therapist for us to see and again we got a appointment right away
and before we knew what hit us we were in some pretty intense holding therapy.Once again
my eyes were wide opened any denial I had was gone,it was clear my dd of 5 years had no
love for mom or dad. We were awesome day care parents but not her REAL mom and dad.As you
all know this kind of pain can not be explained,but boy does it hurt.In October we did a
intensive with her.We have been doing alll we can to learn about this disorder called
RAD.We have been on a crash course.The therapy and the intensive have made a big
difference in all of us.We also made school changes this year too,this has turned out to
be one of the best things we did for her.No special school physcologist to mess with her
head just a strong christian enviorment.
Its hard to change into being the theraputic mom that these kids need,when thats not what
you planned on.We in this house have all had to make changes and comprimises because of
our radishes,but to us its all worth it.
I want to express my thanks to this site and the support that all these moms give.I would
like to offer my encouragement to all of you .Our dd is healing,and if there is healing
for her ther is for you too.Remember Gods fingerprint is on everything.
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