Patty

I recently married a man who has full custody of his 9-year-old son with RAD. I have two sons, 7 and 6 years old. My sons lost their father to cancer with they were babies. Somehow I thought that all five of us could bond together as a family. It isn't happening. My RAD stepson demands 100% attention from his father at all times. My husband is torn in all directions, I need a husband, my sons need a father, but my stepson stands in the way of everything. Garrett, my stepson, is very physical and verbally abusive. He is the master manipulator. My husband & I have no time alone together. I feel that the majority of our family's problems could be addressed by my husband, but the effort it takes on his part is more than he wants to give. He finds it easier to give his time and attention to Garrett, thus reducing the rage and tantrums, than to teach his son that he is not the center of the world. If attention is shown to another member of the family, it will result in a physical attack. This of course gets his father's immediate attention, and once again he has his father's full and undivided attention.

My sons and I are held hostage by a nine year old and I'm trying to figure out if I should stay or go.