sweet17

In 1989, we took in a neighbors son for a few months, getting licensed for this "particular child". Four days after he left, we received a call asking us to take a 4 yr old boy. Of course we said no, cause we weren't going to do foster care.....after begging and pleading...we took this precious littl boy. Today, he is nearly 16, has been dx as RAD and FAE. But our story doesn't end there. Actually it starts nearly 25 yrs. ago when my husband and I married. We wanted a large family. Our oldest son was born (now 23), after a very complicated pregnancy. Our second and third sons died as a result of premature birth...We adopted privately, two beautiful baby boys, now 21 and 17. On a side note, had it not been for raising my sons...and how great they are, I would feel like a failure of a mother right now.....But, on with my story...our home was soon filled with foster children...over the years about 200 children made their way to our home, some for a short stay, some for a long stay and as I said, 6 forever.....Our 19 yo dd, adopted at 14 is RAD, Diabetic and a whole host of other disorders....spent time in a State Juvenille facility, came back to our home town, and refuses to have anything to do with us...even screaming at me in public (at our dr. office, no less), our 17 yo dd, has emotional problems and has made several accusations against us...she was also adopted at 14. We have a 15 yo dd who arrived in our home at 5 and was adopted at 7 (actually she will be 16 in June)...She rages, she manipulates, she wets the bed...she is very oppositional..she has no boundries...shows off her body to her brothers...rages no matter who might be here including 17 yo sons girlfriend...she is RAD & FAE, our 15 yo son is nearly 16 as well...in Aug. He is currently involved in the Juvenille system, for going into a church with a friend and taking $2.00 worth of items. He is doing community service at the church he entered...The pastor has been just wonderful. Our 14 and 11 yo sons are brothers...our 14 yo is becoming more and more abusive to me and to his sister, both verbally and physically....the 11 yo is RAD (healing beautifully), PTSD, FAE, SID (sensory intergration disorder) and ADD...but is coming out of the sensory intergration as well...Two of my children see a therapist trained in RAD and the 11 yo has been going through biofeedback for two years...It has been amazing, how far he has come with this therapy.

What really has brought us through, has been our personal faith in Jesus CHrist. It has been difficult at times, but Christ has seen us through. I should mention, we first heard about RAD 4 years ago...our 15 yo son was dx first, just two years ago....We since has ceased being foster parents, partly because we ran out of room, and partly, because of the problems our children have, didn't feel we could spread ourselves thin enough to bring another child into our lives...that includes our grandson who was adopted by a wonderful Christian couple, a beautiful boy born to our then 16 yo dd. God has blessed us in many ways, despite, many times, the discouragement in the behaviors of our children....and...would we do this again. ABSOLUTELY...well most days, anyway.


Post Script: It is now Oct. 2001. Our 16 yo daughter whom raged so frequently, nearly died in August from Acute Kidney Failure. As a result she has formed an attachment to me. She is still oppositional, but she is able to process the information rather than going into a rage to "get out of" dealing with her emotions. On Sept. 12, 2001, our 19 yo daughter, the Diabetic, died as a result of not taking her insulin. She had been hospitalized numerous times the past year for not injecting and nearly dying. This time, despite CPR beginning immediately upon her collapse, it was not successful. Oh, how I wish we would have been able to reach her. Healing her heart was just too painful...

Copyright © 1997, 2001 Attachment Disorder Support Group. All rights reserved.