Tilani

My 10 year old is breaking my heart. At 1, I went into the military, and her father took care of her while I was gone (at least, I thought he was taking care of her at the time). At 2, she was trying to stomp on our baby bunny, at 3 her barbies would die in horrible ways every time she played with them, and each time she would go to her babysitters’ homes in the afternoon, she would tell them that her mommy hadn’t given her any food to eat all day and she was starving, among other untruths. My divorce from her father started and ended while she was 3. At 4 we started counseling because of behavioral problems. They diagnosed her with Adjustment Disorder. At 5, she had lots of problems in Kindergarten class, couldn’t get along with other children, tried to choke a neighbor child to death, couldn’t stop talking for a minute, began the faking injuries before this point. At 6, she was diagnosed with ADHD, along with ODD. Was put in the front of the class and had lots of special attention from the teacher. Lots of trouble learning to read. Stole money, candy, etc. Lied consistently and for no apparent reason. From then until age 9, I worked closely with the teachers and counselors to try to help her improved my parenting skills, read book after book, learned 1 – 2 – 3 Magic, and researched her many symptoms. She was angry, she told the counselors, wanted to put her brother in the hospital, make him bleed (his behavioral problems started not long before this) wanted to kill herself sometimes. She manipulated her brother, sending him to do bad things she knew he would get in trouble for doing when he got caught (he was 3). Wanted to hurt other children. Chased them with sticks. Babysitters wouldn’t come back. Mad because “the teacher won’t make the other kids be my friend any more”, etc. At 10 we learned about RAD, she got kicked out of her grandmother’s house for manipulative and hurtful behavior, and her father finally realized that I wasn’t lying when I said something was wrong, says she acts like the psychopathic kids he works with at Juvenile Hall and he won’t take her back for more than 10 days at a time any more. Don’t know what he said to her exactly, but he told me that he told her that she was burning her bridges with everyone (she got kicked out of daycare and great-grandma’s) and I believe he told her that she may end up in foster care. Came to this forum looking for help.

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