RADishMOM
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« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2008, 12:00:28 PM » |
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Chris - thanks for the prayers. With so many people praying for her and the girls, I know this has to turn around soon.
Markie - Funny you mentioned documenting this in a book, because that's exactly what my SIL has been doing. Her goal is to write a book documenting her experience and then go on speaking tours to help reach out to other women who are in similar situations, and even start an organization dedicated to helping women get out of abusive relationships. She plans to make lemonade out of very sour lemons!
Justine - Has he always been this cruel? He has always made insulting remarks about my SIL, but it always seemed to just be his sense of humor, like people on a TV sitcom who make biting remarks to be funny. My SIL never thought anything of it because they always had that type of banter between the two of them. But in the last couple of years I noticed that he would roll his eyes when SIL was talking, and it bothered me how he would just go off and do his own thing when family would visit. The last time we visited, before he left, we were walking around the yard with SIL and him, and he got himself a hammock and laid down in it, just left the rest of us standing there. Very rude. His neighbor even noticed it, because the neighbor hollered over to him, "Hey, get your guests some chairs, you lazy bum!" But the thing is, we just thought it was US he didn't like. We never realized what was going on between the two of them. He rarely came to any family gatherings, even at holidays, and SIL was only able to tell us after he left her that she was lying for him all those years, telling us he had to work when really he just didn't want to come, and he didn't want her to attend either!
It seems that my cruel brother-in-law was only in the marriage for the money he knew SIL would get one day when her parents died. They weren't rich, but they were very affluent. They gave him $250,000 to start his own business making candle holders and other decorative crap, but he had no head for business so he went bankrupt. SIL put most of her inheritance into his business and their house, but he thinks because he works, everything should go to him. SIL's lawyer said if she can present documentation of all the things her inheritance money paid for, she will get all those things and he can't touch them. Problem is, he already took some furniture that was from SIL's parents out of the house and took it to his girlfriend's house, and even though he was ordered to return it, he has so far refused. Anything he can do to hit her where it hurts the most, that's what he does.
From the letters he has written her, and the terrible things he says to her, this guy is just pure evil! SIL believes he has a drinking problem and is on steriods; he suddenly got in shape and bulked up just before this all started last Fall. SIL also believes he has untreated Bipolar disorder; her 11 year old has displayed symptoms of BPD, and is being treated but at her age, the doctors are reluctant to actually label her as bipolar just yet.
The biggest worry with the kids right now is that he picks on the 6 year old and tells her she's fat and needs to lose weight...she's just 6 years old!!!! He gets very angry at the kids and yells at them often, swears at them, calls them "little shit" and "Idiot!", things like that. He takes the 2 year old with the heart problem into the hot tub, even though he's not supposed to because of her heart, and CPS has been called about this already, but he's still doing it. He yelled so hard at the 6 year old one day, his mother had to yell at him to stop yelling at her!
At the beginning of all this, my SIL went to his family and begged them to help, but they just laid the blame on her and support their son every step of the way, even though they've seen how he treats those kids.
I didn't mean to write this much, so I need to stop here; once I get going on this, I just keep venting more and more because there is so much to tell, and it makes me so angry and so worried. I appreciate all the prayers; I don't know anyone who needs lifting up more right now than my poor sister-in-law! JL
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