Truebluemom
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« Reply #15 on: August 30, 2011, 07:12:37 PM » |
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Interesting Jeannie - please keep keeping us posted as time goes on.
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ds26 - bio (sweetpea) dd23 - adopted (rad/borderline personality - sociopath) dd21 - adopted (mildly rad, bipolar, fae?) ds20 - adopted (sweet pea)
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."
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Jeannie
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« Reply #16 on: September 01, 2011, 01:33:45 PM » |
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I think the waiting is getting to me. I'm in the "when will the other shoe drop?" mode. Today I feel emotionally exhausted, teary, and irritable. (No PMS). Feels PTSD-ish, but nothing's happened to trigger me.
It's actually been almost 4 days with no real tantrums, just a couple little hiccup-tantrums. I should be happy, but instead feel frightened.
Crazy-making stuff, this parenting a child with alphabet soup disorder.
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Bio-daughters 30 & 28, bio-son now in heaven, dear son 14 (healing from alphabet soup disorder)
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justine
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The voice of reason....gone amok
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« Reply #17 on: September 01, 2011, 09:44:45 PM » |
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Jeannie....your "normal" is to be hyper vigilant. Not only consciously, but unconsciously and even physically. Try and enjoy the calm or at least try and relax to give yourself a break. Of course, by relax I mean in a half stoop in case you need to duck quickly. Not weird at all to want to be a part of your son's healing. Keep us posted.
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bio dd35 freakishly sweet bio ds32 recklessly loving bio ds27 frightfully kind adopted sibling group at ages 10, 6 and 4 worstrad30 adopted at age 10, left family at age 18 ads27 FAE/rad, we're still looking for a conscience, estranged add24 P/A Rad. Unattached, wants the family bene
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Kathleenb
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« Reply #18 on: September 01, 2011, 10:20:47 PM » |
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If this turns out to be his new "normal," it is still going to take you a while. HIS brain got re-wired. Yours didn't. You are still hypervigilant and looking for the threat.
Try some deep-breathing, mindfulness, relaxation exercises. And a beer or a glass of wine or a margarita wouldn't hurt. And melatonin at bed time!
Glad to hear you're seeing a positive difference.
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I survived 2 bio's and 4 adopteds, all now adults Therapeutic parenting coach & trainer Integrated Healing practitioner Rhythmic Movement Training My web site: attachmentandintegrationmethods DOT com Twitter: AttachIntegrate
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Truebluemom
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« Reply #19 on: September 02, 2011, 08:04:14 AM » |
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I can relate to the discomfort of change. Even though it is good change, it is still the unexpected. I know that whenever things are different in my life I go through this transition of trying to figure out what to put in place of the old feelings. I tend to get anxious and depressed or overly excitable. Hopefully you will level out as you figure out whether there is real change or temporary and you adjust to whatever the new normal is. Hang in there and keep us posted. Sorry it's so hard on you.
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ds26 - bio (sweetpea) dd23 - adopted (rad/borderline personality - sociopath) dd21 - adopted (mildly rad, bipolar, fae?) ds20 - adopted (sweet pea)
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."
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Jeannie
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« Reply #20 on: September 02, 2011, 08:53:13 PM » |
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Today's been better. What you all said about change and hypervigilance makes a lot of sense. I'm afraid to be hopeful, too, but am anyway. I think of your poem about hope, Justine, and catch a glimpse of my conflicted self in those images. Kathleen, you're right about my brain not getting rewired. While Mary was working on DS10 I kept thinking that it might be worthwhile to go for it myself. Not having the extra $$ is a deterrent, but maybe later on down the road I can look into it for myself. Truebluemom, you're right. Even good change means having to prepare for the unexpected. So for now, with another good day with DS10 coming to a close, I think I'll not overthink this and snitch one of Dh's beers and just try to enjoy the calm. Thanks for understanding.
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Bio-daughters 30 & 28, bio-son now in heaven, dear son 14 (healing from alphabet soup disorder)
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anne
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« Reply #21 on: September 03, 2011, 08:43:16 AM » |
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Continued prayers from here, Jeannie. Mostly for you this time, because I walk that path you're on every time improvement enters the door. Praying that the glimmers will become treasures for your heart and that He will place His peace upon you. anne
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"Good question! Next Question! "His grace is sufficient...always strength comes for the task." "Hope on, Hope ever!" "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to!" Darlins are bio sibs -Dd20 (RAD, GAD-NOS, PTSD, Bipolar? ABC?), Ds18 (AD,CP,PDD-NOS,PTSD); adopted at 6 and 3.5 yr
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Jeannie
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« Reply #22 on: September 03, 2011, 06:11:24 PM » |
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Thanks, Anne - for both the prayer and the understanding. I value them both, and I value YOU, who gives them so generously!
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Bio-daughters 30 & 28, bio-son now in heaven, dear son 14 (healing from alphabet soup disorder)
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justine
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The voice of reason....gone amok
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« Reply #23 on: September 03, 2011, 06:38:42 PM » |
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((((Jeannie)))))
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bio dd35 freakishly sweet bio ds32 recklessly loving bio ds27 frightfully kind adopted sibling group at ages 10, 6 and 4 worstrad30 adopted at age 10, left family at age 18 ads27 FAE/rad, we're still looking for a conscience, estranged add24 P/A Rad. Unattached, wants the family bene
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Jeannie
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« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2011, 11:30:27 AM » |
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Kathleen.... I just sent you a p.m. about the BIT and my questions.
Thanks for the hugs and understanding, y'all!
DS10 is doing so-so. He's somewhat more regulated, but still can be explosive. At first he was sleeping better, but the last couple of nights he's come into our room with nightmares. I don't quite know what to think about it all.
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Bio-daughters 30 & 28, bio-son now in heaven, dear son 14 (healing from alphabet soup disorder)
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Truebluemom
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« Reply #25 on: September 07, 2011, 01:08:16 PM » |
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Hmmm, Jeannie. Hoping ds settles down. Wonder what got shaken loose? Do you think it's situational or the bit?
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ds26 - bio (sweetpea) dd23 - adopted (rad/borderline personality - sociopath) dd21 - adopted (mildly rad, bipolar, fae?) ds20 - adopted (sweet pea)
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."
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Jeannie
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« Reply #26 on: September 07, 2011, 02:25:52 PM » |
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I don't know what got shaken loose, but it's nothing new, I can assure you. He'll do fine for days, weeks, sometimes even months at a time. Then WHAM! He holds things together beautifully when he wants to (school, Sunday School, with friends) but can't seem to maintain that long-term. He sees us, his family, and that's when the tantrums start.
My gut says FAE, with layers of alphabet soup stuff compounding it. In many ways he sounds like a younger version of your dd19(?), True. He's pretty attached, but it's kind of tenuous. He seems to have about zero tolerance for frustration, delayed gratification, etc. when he's home.
At school he's a different kid.
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Bio-daughters 30 & 28, bio-son now in heaven, dear son 14 (healing from alphabet soup disorder)
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Truebluemom
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« Reply #27 on: September 07, 2011, 09:26:45 PM » |
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He does sound like mine, Jeannie. She didn't hold it together anywhere very well. School was iffy for her. She acted out, but could have been worse. She got very strange with stalker like stuff toward young women whenever we went places around ages 11-13.
Still hoping you'll see some positive results at some point. I wonder if bit can help FAE?
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ds26 - bio (sweetpea) dd23 - adopted (rad/borderline personality - sociopath) dd21 - adopted (mildly rad, bipolar, fae?) ds20 - adopted (sweet pea)
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."
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