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Author Topic: Just Listen by Mark Goulston  (Read 4586 times)
Kathleenb
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« on: May 04, 2012, 07:37:43 AM »

Just Listen: Discover The Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, by Mark Goulston

http://www.amazon.com/Just-Listen-Discover-Getting-Absolutely/dp/0814414036

yeah, yeah, I know, you're thinking, right, there's NO WAY to get through to MY kid, and listening ain't gonna help.

However... I'm about a third of the way into this book and I think this guy has some good points.

He's a psychiatrist, but I can overlook that.  laughing6

He's been a hostage negotiator, and he trains others in those techniques. Now, seriously, that's a HUGE plus, right? After all, how often do WE feel held hostage by our kids, by the schools, by our relatives that don't GET it?

He talks about amygdala hijacking and how you have to calm down the amygdala and the emotions in order to get the higher brain, the cortex, back in action so that you can reason with the other person.

He talks about getting your OWN amygdala back on track, because, hey, we do it, too, and get reactive - and we all know that the fastest way to h*** is to get worked up WITH our kids.

He talks about validating feelings (although he uses other terminology).

The book is totally NOT directed at parenting trauma - Goulson works a lot with businesses and helps individuals in businesses work out problem relationships, but he also works with families, and what he teaches IS applicable to our situations.

Seriously, I think this may become one of my faves.
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I survived 2 bio's and 4 adopteds, all now adults
Therapeutic parenting coach & trainer
Integrated Healing practitioner
Rhythmic Movement Training
My web site: attachmentandintegrationmethods DOT com
Twitter: AttachIntegrate
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