Begin at infancy to give the child everything he wants. (He will grow up believing that the world owes him a living.)

When he uses bad language, laugh at him. (He will think he is cute.)

Never give any spiritual training. (Wait until he is 18 and let him "decide for himself.")

Avoid using the word "wrong." (He may develop a guilt complex.)

Pick up everything he leaves lying around: books, shoes, clothes. (Do everything so that he learns to place all the responsibility on others.)

Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. (Be careful that the silverware and dishes are sterilized, but let his mind feed on garbage.)

Quarrel frequently in his presence. (This way he won’t be too shocked when the family breaks up later.)

Give him all the spending money he wants. (Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?)

Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. (See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.)

Take his side against neighbors, teachers, police officers. (They are prejudiced against your child.)

When he gets into trouble, apologize for yourself. (Say "I could never do anything with that child.")

Prepare for a life of grief. (You will likely have it.)